Sunday, January 4, 2009

Grumposaurus Sapien

I'm grumpy, irritable, and quite frankly, finding myself "short" with people which is scaring me a little. For the most part, I'm pretty happy surviving life's challenges with smiling face because I know there is a rainbow in every situation no matter how difficult.

This past year was a doozy. People I thought I could trust and talk to, betrayed me in ways I'd never fathomed. Without lamenting the economic drain on society, I wonder about the emotional and mental drain on the people who inhabit this country due to it.

I'm grumpy. I look at the younger generation and think about all my chances to do what I'm currently doing, wasted.

When I was 18 a very close family friend gave me his gross anatomy books from med school and said he'd do whatever else he could to help me. He was an amazing family man, great family friend, and surgeon who loved his patients. At 18 I held the world in my hands, at 22 I was given another chance and blew that one as well.

The surgeon and his wife Ruth were like 2nd parents to me at times. Encouraging, listening, helping, offering, consoling, and more encouraging and I wasted it all. Like many of the people whose presence I was graced with during my life, they have both since passed away. He was 90+, she was a bit younger. I wish I could tell them, I wish... and then I'm grumpy!

So now I hear of young people wanting to go to med school like it's a walk in a candy shop. "Oooh, I think I'll pick that over there and take two of those, and maybe that class over there and maybe if I get a 3.3, I'll get in?" And I'm grumpy.

Not specifically at them, but probably more at myself because once upon a time I was 24 and had other chances. At one time I was 33 and still had open doors - WIDE open doors and connections into things that are unheard of in today's world.

At 44, I'm going to be busting my butt to give myself another chance that was offered to me 20 years ago. And while I can't wait, I'm grumpy because I mourn the loss of what I had and the ability to say thank you to those who encouraged and supported me years ago.


maddux31 said...

Amazing entry!

Nick said...

Some people never realize or even care about their potential in life. Be glad that you aren't one of them because they are truly lost. I hope you have a good first week back in Gopher land. Your fellow Big Ten Buckeye is grinding along with you in spirit.

A Doc 2 Be said...

Thanks, Guys - you rock, but then you didn't need me to tell you that!

Path201X said...

Keep your chin up! Some people life an entire lifetime and never have the courage to go for their dreams!

tracy said...

i feel like i can really understand what you are saying...all those doors when we were "young"...yet, you are going for it, i admire you very much and plan to follow your journey. Cheers!


A Doc 2 Be said...

Thank you! I hope I don't disappoint!!!