Friday, February 11, 2011

Sometimes, I Am Just NOT

that interesting.  Probably more often than I care to admit.  Sometimes I think I'm damn funny, look around to see who else is laughing and get these really puzzled, curious stares back at me which scream "DORK!"

So, here is another story, kind of funny, very true.

Back space a second:

A few months, almost a year ago, I alluded to Sir Hawtsalot.  I'm not going to say much more about him (he doesn't read here anyway), but again, I am blessed.  He gets me... my quirks, my humor, my life.  He also forgave me for my very prescriptive channeling of Julia Roberts in "Runaway Bride" ... so, for this Valentine's Day, my first with someone in my life so deserving of all great things, I wanted whatever I did for the man who has everything (literally), to be perfect. 

Enter my ADHD coupled with a slight bit of exaggerated OCD.

M&M/Mars has personalized candies.  You can put your logo, clip art, slogan, picture, whatever you want on the M&Ms.  I thought perfect - cute little sayings related to he and I.  Perfect in a dish with the colors of his house.  Perfect for the man who can and does buy himself anything.  Perfect for the man who does not over indulge in sweets.  Tasty, tiny treats to be cherished a few at a time.  Tiny reminders of our time together.

Without abandon, I ordered the candies.

Then OCD got hold of me.

I'd put 11,000' as the reminder of flinging me out of an airplane at that height above the ground.  My son wondered why not "sandbag" ... and then it all started.

I called the candy maker to get the 11,000' changed to "En Passant" which is similar in story to "sandbag" but not quite.  Funnier as the actual sandbag sits on Sir Hawtslot's desk at home.  (Seriously, Dear, you can throw the damn thing! but he won't... I played a fun Betsy Ross one morning... I digress)

The customer service rep said she'd changed the 11,000' to En Passant.  Gleefully happy, and giggly with anticipation (yes, we docs-to-be do get giggly), OCD kicked in again.

Should have changed the shipping address while I was at it... to him...to work or to home.  I pondered.  Work.

I called the candy maker (this is call #2).  Asked if we could change the ship-to address.  She gladly said yes, then asked the details.  I asked her to clarify what the slogan from prior call now read...

En PaFFant

eek!!!!  She eagerly changed the saying to be correct.  Then asked if there was anything else she could do for me and this order and we hung up.

OCD kicked in again.

I checked the order and the details.  Apparently, oh, how to explain this, Sir Hawtslot has a funny last name.  Paired with mine and we are walking Jay Leno name laugh.  Seriously, people see our names together and we need not say a word.  Our last names paired do it alone.  Our names are stand up comedy at its best.

I digress... but apparently, his last name was not suitable for the billing address, so customer agent #2 changed it thinking for some reason, I must have been poking fun at him or something... no, that really is his last name as surely as mine is mine.

Oh, and Sir Hawtsalot is a senior executive with a global, Fortune 100 so I wanted his title on the end of his name in deference as the package IS going to his company.  I never forget my audience or who might see the package. 

Apparently, Sir Hawtsalot now became someone else and a Sr to boot... oh and a VP, not an SVP.

And custy service rep #2 also botched:

The company name (which I spelled)
The address of the company up to and including, the city name

My OCD kicked and thankfully, before the candies were actually shipped, I was on the phone with customer service rep #3.

And behind Customer Service #3 (To James Lewis - you rock!), was a young man who wanted to make things right for me, and obviously, for M&M/Mars.  Because at the point he got my phone call, I was... unhappy.

What had started off as a fun, flirty way to tell Sir Hawtsalot that I adore him without uttering those words, was quickly turning into a disaster.  The box with the candies would have represented me and the poor misspelled words, the address, his name, his title, his company were all wrong ... no disrespect to M&M but I could care less about your representation, this was all about his company representatives seeing the box and THEIR first impression of ME.

Anyway, cust rep #3 took his time, explicitly read back everything he typed; made sure every tiny detail was correct.  Then said he would pull the already done box back from FedEx, redo the order, and ship correctly.  He just needed the CC #s again and we'd be done.  Order to be delivered to Sir Hawtsalot on Monday.

Then my cell phone died.  I have no land line.  He called me back.  Got the #s and then... their billing system died.  He called me back 6 hours later, got the CC#s, finalized the order, sent me confirmations, and hung up.

I called his management team to let them know how well he'd handled the situation.

Then... OCD struck again.

I checked the order.

Company name was wrong.  Worldwide.  NOT World World.

Call #4 to M&M.  Yes, 4 calls.  It got worse.

By the way, the Richard Clayderman music they play while one is on hold, is forever etched into my head... as well as the conversations between Red M&M and Yellow M&M.

Call #4 got the order completely messed up back to the original messed up order that created call #2 - address wrong, company wrong, name wrong, city wrong...

Call #5 to get the changes customer service rep #4 made was solid.  She was kind, helpful, read everything back.  Said the order was scheduled to be delivered on Monday - you know, Valentine's Day?!?

Yes.  She said everything was scheduled correctly.  All was good.

Apparently, the web service that links to M&M/Mars customer portal information doesn't give the information appropriately.  the order still looked wrong.

OCD.

Call #6 ensured the order would print with the address correctly despite that it looks wrong on the customer portal.

Happy!  I was finished!

I got the confirm of creation and shipping.  Elated!  Finally!!  THREE hours on the phone with customer service at M&M/Mars and FINALLY!!! It was correct!

Or not.

It is now scheduled to be delivered late on Tuesday, February 15th.

Ask me, you think I will ever, ever think of ordering ANYTHING from M&M/Mars????

Make it a great day ~ thankfully, I had a back up plan and gift for Sir Hawtslot in mind and it is being delivered to me, tomorrow.

(I'm on the phone with M&M/Mars - again, #7)

1 comment:

Red Stethoscope said...

Oh, heavens! What a nightmare! I thought those personalized M&Ms are a cute idea too...too bad I will NEVER be ordering them now! This is crazy. They should throw in some complimentary stuff, in addition to your refund, for all of your time!