Saturday, April 14, 2012

After The World Goes To Hell

Ha!  I looked at my blog this morning and realized I had not blathered for a few days.  Not that anyone was sending the cavalry to my door, or beating smoke signals over the airport (which would be a bad idea anyway, probably get you arrested), or otherwise, blowing up my phone with text and calls (except for you K, thank you!!!) - the obligation to talk about what's happening in this premed's life has been followed for almost four years now!

That shocks me!  I started this four years ago?!?!

Wow.

Last week remains a blur.  Waking up with blurred vision, barfing blood (sorry if you're squeemish in the morning), massive headache (yes, migraine - I've just never had one happen overnight when presumably, I'm dreaming about eating ice cream), and other assorted issues - I did not take the biochem exam. I take it on Monday instead.

What caused the migraine?

Most likely realizing on late Weds night that I have not worked in almost two months, and the three months before that were pretty sparse due to: holidays, thanksgiving, finals.  So, in the last 6 months, cumulatively, I've probably worked 6 weeks.  With tuition, car payment, insurance, rent, blahblahblah...

That freaked me out.  So, of course, I went and looked at medical school loans/grants/scholarships to see how the heck I'm going to pay for that and then to calm my spinning head down I concluded this:

1)  the extra year I'm taking before MCAT will also do me well financially - I can pay down all my debt to near zero and put money in the bank, and plausibly, buy a house; still a bummer; I'll still be almost 49 at application and I can't undo my age; while I may not feel like a 47 year old today, chronologically, I still am; and statistically, I have fewer years left in my life than my 25 year old brethren

2)  the time I have now, can be spent finding a private loan to help me through the next four weeks until the next perm role or contract job comes through (recently interviewing for a perm role where the recruiter wanted to push me to the vice president role, I said no... I really want to be a doc; if 133 accredited allopathic medical schools laugh heartily in my face and slam the door shut, then I'll reconsider - but only then); the question became how I'd work school in with my job (despite that I've done so for a year now, pretty easily)

3)  the old house - the one Miranda Lambert's song flowed through the stereo the night my son and I moved our last things out - is being investigated by the US Government for fraudulent action on the part of the big bank... I was told there is a solid footing upon which to demand I get my house back...  In all honesty, I loved my old house and almost everything about it... that word "almost" being critical.  It was poorly built by a crappy contractor who cut corners both legal and otherwise to build it.  Also, it would mean displacing a family who had no idea the issues.  I can't do that, but I'd sure like some of my $400,000 back.  That was pure equity.

4)  my parents are having trouble.  For their privacy and protection, I won't say the circumstances, but it made me really sad; that came to a head on Weds night.

Thursday at 6:30 AM, I realized, I could not see well.  The buzzing bees inside my head a little loud and turning the light on, my vision was just not hazy from sleeping but Bentley Boo was in triplicate.  Never a good sign.

I'm fine now.  After two days of almost complete rest, medication for the migraine, and more rest - I'm feeling pretty good!

I know the rest will fall into place.  I know things will work out the way they are supposed to, they always do.  I know my path will become clearer as the days pass.

I just wish I had the resolution to some of that now. :D

On to biochem and making sure I ace the test.

2 comments:

Zazzy Episodes said...

Hang in there! I've been battling a sinus migraine for over a week and I'm sick of being sick.

Kelvin said...

I hope your family's okay now too. My parents are also having a huge problem over the year, and it managed to bring down everyone in the family with it. Now it's resolved, but the memories and pain still lingers...