Sunday, November 25, 2012

Monday, November 19, 2012

Just when I thought, my week...

couldn't get worse, I find out my son's father is dying of stage IV melanoma.  Apparently, the little bump under his armpit was a sign of the tumors in his brain, of the lesions on his spine, of the ending I never imagined for this man.

My son's father has not been a part of our lives.  We were together for many years, probably close to seven in all, but when I found out I was pregnant it was time to grow up or ... and I raised my son alone.  Not with anger toward his father but with more love for my son; not with bitterness of what had happened in the past, but for the hope that rose in my son's eyes, and upon his broad shoulders.

A few weeks ago through happenstance circumstances, I found a post on FB (of all things that I just signed up on) related to him; brain tumors.  Tonight I found out how bad it is.

My week has been shit anyway - and it's only Monday night.  This makes me not overtly sad but melancholy as I think of how much a great part of my life, this dying man played in my life.  Without him, I'd not have my son and Lord only knows how my life would've turned out.

I have funny stories I wish I could retell - things that when I told my son tonight, made him laugh and shake his head.  There are things his father and I did that make most people double over - my God we WERE stupid!!! lol

And he may not make it to this weekend, or his 46th birthday next week.

And my son, may never meet the man who is his father.

I feel for both of them.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

R.I.P. Susie

My days at the barn have been awesome - nothing short of ear to ear grin.  All the horses have their personalities and all of them love to be cared for.

Yesterday, I groomed and bathed Susie.  The old Percheron with the sweet as can be personality stood for me in the cross ties, but something was different.  The barn paid help said she was having a bad day.  After bathing her, she was not really doing well then, I took her back to the stall for feed time.

And then I left.

As all Sundays go, I came out today to give her an apple, brush her, and give her some love.  See, I'd been looking for a place to buy so I could take her with me, the barn had recently told me they'd allow me to.

After about 1/2 hour today, things started to look very different.

Susie looked drunk.  Her back end with the leg that has ringbone, seemed to cave underneath her, she fell hard against the box stall, snorted, then got back up.  The paid barn person asked what happened, and I told her.

Get her out of there, put her in the pasture.

Susie stood for me patiently while I tossed the halter over her head and led her out.  She stopped a little on the path, looked around, legs wobbling, and then gained her balance.

A few more yards, and she did the same thing, only this time she leaned forward, and then back, and then fell again.  And then she got up...

and fell again.

At this point the barn person was very scared and pretty freaked out.

Everyone loved Susie.  And watching her flail and panic and fall again was agonizing.  Eventually, I got her to the pasture where it was softer, she fell again; I got the halter off.  She got up...

And fell again.  This time the lead of the barn was on the phone and asking me what was transpiring.  Vet was on the way.  In seeing the stricken, panicked face of the barn person, I told her to go back to the barn, tell the teens that this was probably not going to end well, and she did.

Sadly, the vet never made it.  Susie got up one last time, walked a few yards on her own, got wobbly, bumped into the hot wire, tried to rear away, broke a post and with a thud, it was over.

The horse I quickly loved, groomed every weekend, loved all the time I was with her, was dead in the pasture.

And her hopeful adopted mom too stunned to say anything but wander back into the barn to let the person know Susie had died.

I don't regret a single moment I spent with her.  In my own mind, I hope she knew I cared for her and she was safe when I was around.  She'd just started to bring her head down for me to put the fly cream on her ears without any hesitation.  She'd stand for me and do whatever I wanted, I'm hoping that meant she trusted me.

What did I learn?  It's okay to let those whom you know will not be with you long:, that you care and that you will keep them safe.  Whether canine, equine, or human we all need to know we are loved and safe.

R.I.P.  Susie Q.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Bakas Equestrian Center

Spent the afternoon at Bakas, grooming Susie - big, bold, beautiful Percheron.  Asking about trying to help the group with marketing (they are hoping to become full funded 501(c)3 and off the county budget) I was shown this:

It is a great start in getting the message out about the help this equestrian center provides to families and children.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Apparently, 6th Grade

Has fond memories for many of my old classmates.  It warmed my heart to see that people still think of those years, lost so long ago.

I laughed when I saw my VERY BIG pre-braces teeth.  Rabbits had nothing on me :)

(The arrow points to the top of my head if my BIG RABBIT teeth don't help you!)

Fun times - the fond and fun memories I have of growing up in the cold northern city of Minnesota far outweigh the bad.

Just the way it should be!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

My Bentley

Species: Dorkus Extraordinairus

Approved by President Barack Obama

Current advertisement running in Tampa on 100.7 (Approved by President Barack Obama)

"We need leadership to help stop the financial crisis that started 4 years ago. 

I'm President Barack Obama, and I approve this message." 

I kid you not.  Got up this morning, went to wash/wax my truck, and on the way back home heard that message from the PoTUS himself.

So, for those of you who also do not read carefully (:D), Obama openly admits and consents to an advertisement campaign that says the financial crisis started four years ago.

Isn't that when he was elected President the first (and hopefully, only) time?!?!?

 (And for you who read here and think I'm a registered Republican, I'm not.  I'm not registered for either party, voted for Colin Powell as a write-in 4 years ago, voted for  Governor Dayton, and campaigned for Pawlenty.  I'm about as independent as you can get without becoming an anarchist.)

Friday, November 2, 2012

Mitt Romney

I did not write the following, I copied/pasted it from a comment on but I agree 100%

Obama has blurry vision.  Here is what he has really done for us in 4 years. 
23 million Americans without work
1 in 6 Americans in poverty
47 million Americans needing food stamps to survive
6.2 trillion dollars piled on our national debt
4 billion dollars a day borrowed from China
Cover ups in Fast and Furious and Benghazi
Bail out of Unions across the nation
Handing money out to Political Donors with "Green" companies
Gas prices double when he took over
$4,500 less take home pay for middle class Americans
Largest expansion of the federal government in history
Obamacare...costs more and is raiding money from Medicare to pay for it. 
African American Unemployment at 14%, Hispanic 12%, Women 12%
My opinion of President Obama is that he is probably a really fun to hang out with (Jay-Z and Beyonce, George Clooney, among others); he is probably a really great husband (Mrs. Obama is going to be on Entertainment tonight, which seems appropriate); he is probably a great dad (buy Sasha and Malia their pooch, I mean really, he bought his kids a pup!!!)... BUT

I think President Obama is a failure as a President.

At a rally in Tampa, I was asked how a single mom could think about voting for Mitt Romney.  To me, there is no choice.

Five years ago, my net worth was well over seven figures, despite paying $90,000/year in taxes to the federal government and another $8,000 or so in state.  Five years ago, I owned a home that I'd put 20% down on, paid each month a little extra in addition to my monthly mortgage, and had at the end of 2008, and mid 2009 - still had $350,000 in equity in the thing as appraised by a licensed appraiser during the new appraisal regulations (i.e. appraisers were going to be fined if they gave any falsified increase in worth to the home and faced jail as a potential if the appraisal were egregious.)  By the way, I bought the house in 2000.

Four years ago, President Obama was elected and he forcefully stated during his campaign that he'd stop rubber stamping of foreclosures.  We all know what happened to me (or you can dig through posts and figure it out yourself).

My foreclosure was rubber stamped and is now being litigated by the federal government.  BUT my house belongs to someone else now.  And there is no way the federal government, or the bank, is going to send me a check for $350,000.

Four years ago, I had hope that my executive job would come back, or something like it.

It never did.  Those jobs are gone because when big business can't afford to keep their full staffing because of the tax rate, the smaller companies soon follow suit.  And then, of course, we have the push from Wall Street that says what an earnings report should state, so the CEOs focus more on that (or lose their own jobs), and then they off-shore because why?

Oh yeah, China is cheaper (India actually, or the Philippines).

Four years ago, President Obama said he'd crack down on Wall Street greed and theft.

I was contacted by the SEC about the company where I was the VP of internal audit.  Unfortunately, when the amount was not the staggering $500,000,000 of say an Enron or WorldCom, the SEC was no longer interested because President Obama would not have made good press on a mealy $5,000,000 thievery.

No, see President Obama wanted good press and a company worth $800,000,000 stealing and lying about $5,000,000 is not going to get him the USA Today style press he wanted.

Four years ago, my life was different.  In 2010, I went through the 2nd darkest year of my life; 2nd only to the year my first son died of SIDS.  If I recall correctly, President Obama was in the White House then.  He pushed and focused for a solid year on Obamacare and failed to do anything else for Americans.  He went shore to shore of other continents apologizing for being an American and the war we started in Iraq (I agree with him there, we had no business in Iraq).  He also apologized for Afghanistan and yet, the intell the CIA and others gained from Afghanistan is what led him to be able to take out Osamathejackass.

Four years ago, I did not vote for him (or for McCain - I voted for Colin Powell as a write in).  But I did have hope.  Hope that was quickly extinguished when I saw he was going to run this country into the ground.

Four years ago, the US had $10,000,000,000,000 in debt.

Today, we are $16,000,000,000,000 in debt to China and to others.

Four years ago, our embassies were protected by the brave men and women of our armed forces.

Today, we mourn the loss of an unprotected embassy in Libya (and where else, I might ask).

Four years ago, the unemployment (those actually filing claims, which do not include those who do not, or cannot - like me), the rate was 8%.

Today, the rate is the same 8% but more women and more children are on welfare and food stamps.  (Personally, I do not obtain those though I do qualify.)

Four years ago... we were better off as a nation than we are today.  And people want to take another four years of the same?

I do not get that.

And last, Alabama and Mississippi are two of the poorest and MOST African American populated states in the country.  Take a look at the Huffington Post map, or or any other political map:

Why is it that those two states are voting and leaning heavily toward Romney?

That should be all you have to know about what those folks' fear is.

Another four years of Obama.