Saturday, December 20, 2014

Unbreakable

First time I heard this song, I was driving to work and almost pulled over... eyes watered up, tears streaming down my face, chest heaving in pain ...

Then I came home and pulled up the video.  More tears, bigger throat lump.

My dad.

I talk about him often on here.  As his health withers and his mental ability to remember or think slips, I'm so thankful that he IS my dad.

Growing up my mother was a tyrant.  She still is.  I moved 1500 miles away to get away from her and her alone.

The beatings I took on a daily basis with ping pong paddles, spatulas, metal serrated spoons coupled with harsh words that I was worthless, spoiled, nasty...

I was 5 and it did not stop until I was 17.

But my dad, who was gone Monday through Friday, always came home and obviously, was oblivious to what she did to me.  He still is.

In his own way, he made me unbreakable.  He cheered my successes, took me to ice cream when I was grounded (every week, replete with being beaten), he stood up for me when my life was a shambles.  I was 5... and he never stopped.

He still hasn't stopped.  As I watch his life slip away, I can only look up and say a quiet thank you to whatever power is above for having him in my life.

And today as I wonder if I can actually be ready for the MCAT on the 15th, I quietly hear my dad saying, "GO PJ, you can do this!!!"

Yes, Dad, I will keep trying.

2 comments:

NoDoctorsNamedMegan said...

What a moving video and song. I don't know how much a random internet person's sentiments mean to you, but I can see your strength in your words on this blog. I'm confident that you can, in fact, do it. I'm on your team :)

A Doc 2 Be said...

Thank you, Megan! It means a lot to me ... that people read ... that people care.