Monday, July 18, 2016

Exhaustion Creeps In

This path, I've said, is not for the faint of heart.

Just when you think you're ready for beast-slaying (taking the MCAT for the non-medical people), just when you think you've mastered the graphs, tables, interpretations, nuances of every little enzyme in every pathway that relates to psychological and sociological phenomenon, the MCAT makes you feel:

Stupid.

Thanks Section Bank Biochem.

Yep, I thought I was good on the biochem - had the greatest professor ever (Hi Dr. S!).  He told the class a few years ago we'd be set and I would have been if I'd just kept up with it.  But I still am.

Over the past 2 weeks, I've spent more time in the library than I ever did in sum-total of my undergraduate years.  That's not saying much as the correlation to studying and my 30 year old GPA is 1:1.  Yes, I'm 51 and will be 52 when my application is considered complete at all 25 medical schools to which I've applied and no, I don't care much what people think.

BUT I am tired.

And it is worth it!

And then I came home to this:



Someone whom I met through life has become a dear friend along with his wife.  They've believed in me when my own doubt started taking hold.  They've supported me in ways I will never publicly disclose but without them... I would have possibly stopped (again).

With them by my side - OMG, I am so excited to take this exam, put it to bed, get this monkey off my back, slay the beast, and see what happens next.

I am also looking forward to a break - just a small one before I march into bench research, and cancer biology.  Maybe a small 2 or 3 day break, on a beach.  With not a single exam prep question, flashcard box, note filled binder, folder filled with graphs and pathways and enzyme mechanics (yes, I do get the LB and MM now) in sight, I won't even try to correlate a bird's flight with the volume of O2 flowing through it's wings or calculate in my head the pumping action of his heart or the pulmonary output of deoxygenated blood (pulmonary brings deoxygenated blood to the heart; it's the only artery to do so, all others go away).

With no flashcards, or iPad mini with loaded videos and podcasts and "MCAT" game (yes, they have them; they're lame but better than nothing); with no books, or graphs or laptop... I think I'llr remember what it's like to sit in the sun.

And be free.  If only for a little while.

T-18



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