Happy Valentine's Day!

As luck has it, I seem to find the most amazing people on this journey I call life.  Living in FL started off interestingly enough and then I met a woman I'm blessed to call my friend.

She too has seen some very difficult times but through it all she remained positive and happy.  Success in every way imaginable found her.  Eager to share that with her own children, she found that was not her path, nor God's plan for her apparently.

At some point over the past few years, she started thinking about adoption.  When first going to the foster homes, or settings, she was thinking ages from birth to 8.  Again, that was not God's plan for her.

This past November the plan unfolded.  The video below says everything that my wee words cannot.  

Enjoy!  Happy Valentine's Day!  And to TRD, you rock!!!

Bachelor Sean (Yes, I'm "Going" There!)

A few years ago, I left the abode in a small, tree lined street in a tiny, humble (eccentric, you might say) village along the St. Croix River in Minnesota.  Moving into what became known not so affectionately as the cave, I also gave up DirecTV, Comcrap, Qwest and whatever other media was available.

Working 40 hours a week and taking gen chem, or ochem, or physics never allowed for much free time.  Happy as a bee in spring on newly sprung flowers, I was headed somewhere... wherever that might be.

Moving once again to a house in a different suburb and not so cave-ish, and not so insect riddled, cable got hooked up for the internet.  Cable.  You know, that flicker thing where one can sit on one's ash and watch mind-numbing TV?

Yeah.  That thing.  And my new sofa.  On a Monday night after an ochem exam.  I found Ashley.

Sure, I'd heard the water cooler discussions of who should be with whom but I had never watched really.  I think I saw something of Jake and whoever-she-was.  I could not believe people would whore themselves out like they did and so never got entangled into the show.

However, I did, for some reason, stay tuned for Ashley.  While her annoying crying with Bentley got under my skin (I DO have a Bentley of my own - big, goofy, great dane), the rest of her show was fun to watch.  JP was my pick from the get-go and the water buffalo dude had to go.  Really.  Uck.

Skipping WB season - and sort of semi-watching Emily and her sniffling, stuck-up-never-going-to-get-over-herself - I really liked Sean.  Just not with her.

Sean's season started (I'm not in school this semester; debating the MCAT thing; lots of time on my hand to watch shows like Castle, and NCIS (LOVE the Abby!), and Scandal)... and seriously, who are these chicks?  and honestly?  Can someone please tell me I did not act like them???

Des was my favorite from the outset until, she started to tell Sean what the problem with Tierrarist was and then instead, decided to clam up leaving him in a confuddled state; and then whined about the goat milk guzzling (although, truth be told, I get being pissed about guzzling that crap and then being told that the other losing team gets to come back), but what finally turned me away from her, though I think she still has the most spunk and energy and fun in her, is when she started to tell him about living in a tent while growing up.  Uck.  It's one thing to tell a man you've been dating for a few months that you had some interesting times in the past (I know I speak for myself there - anyone reading this blog already knows what I've been through) but Des and Sean hardly know each other... and homelessness is not for the feint of heart.

It's not the homelessness that is so bad, it's what homelessness does to the psyche.  I've seen it in the shelters where I've volunteered.  I've felt it when I too thought I "might" be homeless.  It changes a person.  The unknowing, the unsettledness... and there she was, laying it all out on him.

But what really got to me a few days ago is the damn ring on Catherine's finger.  The spoiler is already out on Reality Steve . com so you know, Catherine supposedly is the engaged fiance of Sean now... just not while they were in Canada.

If you look at the episode, it looks like she has a wedding ring next to her knuckle and an engagement ring on top of that in the appropriate position.  Having read Steve's column and having been told she "wins", I wa sort of stunned thinking that she already knew he proposed... but that would not make sense.... but then this is "Reality" TV where everything is "real", right?

Reaching out to Steve, he said that they were not engaged at that point.  Then he went onto say that the conspiracy theorists were out in full force.  Apparently, I was not alone in my observation but probably alone in that... I don't really care.  My own thought was the lousy editing team forgot to tell her to take it off before filming the one tiny sequence because it was definitely gone after the one shot.

Why would that be?  Because someone finally DID realize it was there?

Who cares.  I know if I were studying for that Most Capricious Acidic Theory, I would not have time to care about Sean, or Emily, or ... but then, it is fun to have mindless drivel to take up some time here and there.

Just like this blog :)

Make it a great day!

Ifosfamide

Little things.  A couple of chlorines off a carbon chain interlinked with a phosphate, little amide thrown in for good measure, and there you have it.  I'm hooked... back into biochem like a fly to a blinking yellow lantern hanging from the rooftop on a hot summer night.

Why does it work, I was asked?  While the person knew I was not a doctor, and have not even taken the MCAT yet (key word there), it hooked me in again.  My biochem prof often talked about Wiki becoming a better source of basic information.  He talked about a lot of things that I remember if pushed... even RNA transcription ... okay, if he reads here, he'll understand the joke.

I digress.

My brain slowly chugged into motion trying to remember all the biochem I learned last semester.  Something about certain pharmaceuticals mimic the chemical a disease or virus or bacteria needs to continue replication... "thing" thinks it is eating a good thing, or using the DNA from the good thing, and then 'WHAM' - too late.  It dies.

Or something about a compound attaching itself to the just right place to stop a reaction from occurring (non-competitive inhibitor is what blared in my head).  Yeah, that sounds like it might be the case as well.  If the reaction cannot continue because the shape of the molecule can't change with the non-competitive inhibitor taking up the space, 'WHAM' - game over for the disease or virus or bacteria.

WHAM, I was back in biochem again.  And phys.  Talking about the lumen in the intestines and why channels have to be working for nutrients to cross and explaining what I sort of remembered from my classes.  And why it is important to have the nutrients and elements in the body to assist with the transport across the lumen, and into the blood stream and... I was on fire.

And telling the person to make sure to ask their doctors for clarification; gently reminding them that I am not a doctor, not in med school, have no med school experience, and the best place to get the truth is from the treating physician; not from a former wee premed who might (or might not) be starting med school soon.

More questions came - will the cancer patient survive?

Anyone who knows me know I can talk (and will!!!).  With that question though, I paused to make sure whatever I said next was exactly right.  I could feel the person wanting/needing me to say, "Of course!"  What came out was not that.

"I don't know.  What I do know is that the only one who can, and should, give you a prognosis is the treating physician.  You are in excellent hands.  The cancer center here is nationally renown and you need to trust that they are doing everything they can to help your spouse beat this."

I know there was disappointment on the receiving end of that message but it was the damn truth.  It is not my place to conjecture, to conjure, to wonder, to talk through my thoughts when it comes to a life and a prognosis with statistics.

What I did do was look up the stats, and seeing the stats were pretty dang awesome, I sent the links to WebMD, Mayo, and NIH.  I also looked up YouTube videos for the medications and sent those as well.  Had the stats been mediocre or worse, I'd have "forgotten" all about it.

I do not know if that would be crossing the line for a premed or med student or non-treating physician.  What I do know is that my own story of my brother's similar diagnosis 12 years ago, his very lively living now, and my gentle suggestion to ask the physicians about Boost - raised the spouse's spirits.

And mine.  I love being able to take very technical information and decipher it into layman's terms; I love the hard sciences; I loved all my premed courses, including ochem.

Of course, having to churn out biochem again only started another issue within myself.

What in the hell do I do about my MCAT?!?!  And worse, applying.

These types of conversations stoke the passion, give me the drive; I'm sitting on the doorstep of app cycle 2013 and I just can't seem to take my foot over the line.

Anyone got a big boot??? :D

Make it a great weekend, be warm.

Ad2b

For Don

I've been thinking about him a lot lately.  He was truly never far from my thoughts; guess that comes when his son is my son.  And every time my eyes water up, and every time they did for 7 years, he would sing this song to me.

Seems appropriate today.  Dust in the eye so to speak when the reality of it all sets in:



I can hear him saying to me some weeks ago, "Don't go getting all weepy eyed on me."

Okay, Don, I won't... :)

Kirkland Home - Citrus Park

Many heartfelt thanks from Garret and I for making our Christmas a little brighter, a little cheerier, and a little more festive.  What you did for us goes beyond simple.  Thank you so very, very much!

Merry Christmas to you and your families!!  May your own seasons grow bright with joy and happiness and great cheer as you ring in the new year.

Extended Blessings,

PJ (adoc2be) and Garret