Monday, October 25, 2010

I'm Trying

really, I am.  Exactly seven days I ago, I walked out the front door of the cave, out to the truck with a perky eared great dane, who stopped to pee, sniff a tree, and jump in my truck.

Away we went, like a bat out of hell.  He seemed non-plussed about the whole thing.  Even wagged his tail walking into the e-vet... he did not want to go.  One hour before he was euthanized, he was still perking up his ears... still thumping his tail... still trying to console his owner who was sobbing on the cold floor of the harshly lighted clinic.

My soul left me that night.  I have yet to find it.  But I am trying.

I miss you Storm.  I miss your little lips puckering up to lick me in the morning.  I miss those flappy jowls of yours flinging floobers all over the house.  What I really miss is my Saturday morning run to the dog food store and all the people remarking what a GREAT great dane you are.  I miss you curling up on my bed fully aware that is not mom-approved... only to jump off and look at me like it was perfectly fine because it was you.  I miss your fur and smell of it against my face as I rubbed you down and checked your legs for growths.  I miss you prancing around like ... well, only you know the name we called you.  It fit, my love.  Storm, if you could only hear my heart; if you could only know how much you are missed by your earth bound family... as you left this world the only words I could think were, "Thank you" for anything else doesn't fit what you have meant to Garret and I ... you saved me from myself and from the evil that lurked in our home for 2 years.  You barked at strangers in the back yard when who knows what they were doing back there.  You pranced and played to make us laugh; we have the pictures of you about to swirl into the zoomies.  I will never understand how your tail did not get busted up in the old house.  By the way, I hope you don't mind if I carry you in my heart, but put your ashes out at the old house, by your buddies.  Hopefully, next spring I'll be able to let you really go.

Storm, I'm so sorry.  I miss you.  I am trying.

1 comment:

A Doc 2 Be said...

I never buried him. I never left him behind. He sits in an urn, in my bedroom with his collar around the top. Storm is not forgotten and he will always be, my heart dog. The dog that stayed with me when things were so dark, and painful, and harsh.

Life has gotten easier. Hope is now 10, Bentley is my heart mender and Zola - well, she's just the Z-meister. Gosh, I do wish my Storm dog.