Because I Was Asked...

The blog has been made public.

Not sure why anyone reads this, as @gonnif told me, "drivelish POcrap" but here goes:

If you're reading because you're soon taking the MCAT know these things:

1.  It's not as hard as the AAMC Section Banks ALTHOUGH there are a passage or TWO that are equivalent - that separates the 528s from the 519s from the 510s...

2.  Know your AA's - the structures, the cycles (Krebs, Pentose) and I would suggest you know the number of carbons on each molecule in the Krebs - why?  Well, just look at the molecule changes and understand... if you need the drawing I have of that, let me know...

3.  Know the psych/sociologists and what their theories are... I would also tell you to line up Freud, Piaget, Erickson, Kohlberg theories by ages to see how they align and differ...

4.  DO ALL the AAMC materials - even the flashcards.  The flashcards help not only understanding what AAMC rationale (and not "Answer A is right because B, C, and D are wrong) but the format for discretes.  The flashcards are somewhat like discrete questions and... I can't say more ;)

5.  Read other material like The Economist, The New Yorker, Harvard Business Review, etc. and the opinion pieces contained within those magazines.  Why?  Well, start by asking yourself when reading, what is the tone of the author?  what would help or hinder the author's argument?  That is the reasoning you'll be expected to have come test day.

6.  Make sure you pack snacks, lunch and soda/water for exam day the night before.  Don't be like me and think you'll get up early and do it (I did this for the exam post-Irma and *epic fail* comes to mind :O )

For the first exam, that got postponed, I packed sandwiches (PBJ), chips, animal crackers, diet coke in copious amounts.  That exam, I think I would have nailed but...

7.  Leave early for the exam site.  More than likely you can sign in starting at 7 or 7:30 which gives you a slight advantage if you are taking it like everyone else (I was accommodated).  The room will be less full as you start your test and that is the CP section.  For some, that might be the strength but either way, you'll be cruising in test mode while others are still checking in.

8.  IF you are NOT getting close to your goal score on the AAMC materials FL1, FL2, and FL3, you have two/three choices:

void
no-show
score

Depending on how close you are to the exam date, you may also cancel with a partial refund BUT if you are not going to get a refund then either take the thing and void or score it.  A no-show counts against your total lifetime attempts AND you lose the money without getting anything.

At least get something for the money you paid!

LAST... breathe.  Unless this is your 7th attempt, and you are 80+ years old, this is not the end game.

You can retake it if you do poorly.  Remember, This ⇓ is what you're looking for.

Alive, Well, & Wondering

Of course, I am wondering.  Querying/googling "Bombed MCAT, retake?" and find?

Lots of people score worse than I did.

Lots of people scoring worse than I did, retake, do well, get into med school.

Am I going to be one of them?  Don't know.  I vowed I would take time away from SDN, reddit, and anything med school related... but that life thing.

Son ended up in ER a few weeks ago.  Doctor asked him what he thought was wrong and son said, "Maybe I have a kidney stone?"

Doc asked son, "What makes you think that?"

Son, "well, my mom" pointing to me, "thought that might be the case."

Doc looks at me, "What made you think about kidney stone?"

Me, "Well, to be honest, I was just a dumb premed so... please don't ... see, his pain is in upper quadrant, below the rib, and specific; when pressure is put on it, the pain doesn't end so I figured it wasn't kidney infection... Also, he's not running a fever; intestines aren't there, appendix is lower, he's not having trouble breathing/eating/drinking and isn't peeing blood... so lungs good, heart good, I figured only thing left was kidney stone."

Doc, smirking at me, "WAS a premed??"

Me, with a combo of dust/onions in the air, "Yeah.  Was."

Doc, "You sure?"

Son, "Nah" groans, "She'll retake that damn thing."

As I waited for the CT scan to be done and son wheeled out of room, it was the first time in weeks that I felt at home, where I belonged, where my heart is, where my passion lies.  I saw sick people wheeled into rooms, talked to the nurses about their roles in ER, docs who make it in the ER (no interest on my part), about the lab results...

If I were 43 instead of not 43, there's be no question as to what I'd do.  But the calendar doesn't lie.

Son turned out to be fine with severe back spasms, thankfully.  He was put on some pretty heavy duty meds to help his body relax and recover; doc told me to retake the test.

We'll see. In the meantime, I've found Pennsylvania to be gorgeous (client in Pittsburgh area) and driving from PA to DC?

Sublime!  We're moving to DC in the spring, hopefully before cherry blossoms come out.

Found a cabinet maker went out of business and left his entire inventory behind in a warehouse.  It was all listed as "construction material" by the warehouse owner, so I came by and took "a lot" ... projects await me when I return home (currently on 12 day road trip PA - DC - MD - PA).

Life does go on... we'll see what ends up.  I'm fine.  I know when I took the test, after the delays, Irma, and $36,000 contract ending 2 days prior that I simply did not care about the exam.  And that coupled with adderall and no food and no hydration = disaster.

No excuse.  Maybe just a sign.

#BoyleStrong

Life always works out the way it's supposed to, I'm told.  A few years ago, my love fest with all things Tampa Bay Lightning, Mr Vinik's amazing organization, I mean hockey club started.  Of course, that was swiftly pushed along with the addition of a certain Ranger, Boyle.

Boyle.  That guy. That guy who rattles up Abdeldaker's knickers, acts like jumping fish out of water while sitting in the penalty box vexing the Penguins Letang, giving Dotchin the "atta boy" when Dotch was sent to the penalty box and all over a great man, player, husband and dad.

In buying my first jersey - ever - it was Boyle that I wanted.  The shop downstairs in Amalie said they didn't get many requests for Boyle.  I found it odd... but then again, I never am the #1 fan of the #1 players on any club (hockey, football, hoops, or potato throwing).  I love the grinders, the diggers, the blue collar chuggers.

That embodies Boyle.

My longest post about him is here:

https://adoc2be.blogspot.com/2017/04/its-private-now-only-i-can-read-here.html

Last December, my tickets were on the blue line across from the bench, five rows off the ice.  With the team imploding without it's Captain Stamkos and many others, I kept tweeting to Boyle, "Step up. Your time. Your leadership."  Not that I had any part of it, but he did.  I also tweeted the Bolts, "Boyle should get the 'A'" for Alternate Captain.  Not that I had any part of that either, but he got it.

At the end of every game the 3 stars of the game are announced with players coming from just one club or both.

Boyle got the 2nd star of the night.  He got to give away a puck, signed by him.

I'd been asked by club management if I wanted to meet him at one point and while I can be outgoing at games, I'm rather shy in real life tending to stand in a corner and watch.  So, I always said no thank you.

But on that night with those 2 stars and a puck to hand out, Boyle skated across the blue line, across the rink like no one else ever does, looked right at me, and tossed up the puck.

My shyness kicked in along with my Minnesotan roots that told me to be polite and let the guy in front of me nab the puck.  (Guy then asked me who it was... insert big frowny face.)

That is maybe one of my only regrets from that hockey season, well, and that in all my #OldSignHag signs, I never did one for him.  Bishop, Stammer, Cally, Brown, Vasy all got signs but I wore Boyle's jerseys (white, blue, black depending on the night) so I figured that was good enough.

So, of all the signs I did (see below)

First game of the season when Callahan teased Stamkos that after signing, Cally knew who was buying the Arby's for the guys.  It became a running joke.

Bolts playing the Panthers begged for this sign!

Star Wars night

Hockey Fights Cancer Night

Stamkos went down for what became the entire season.

Marty St. Louis retirement

Vasy holding up after Bishop went down.  Team struggling, sagging, weary. 

This last one traveled with me for the rest of the season until... well, until Boyle was traded to the Leafs.  I stopped going to games, sold my tickets, watched from home.  This sign went to Minneapolis for the Wild v Bolts game and ended up in a video done by the club.  I wanted to ... 

Of all the signs I did, there was never one for Boyle.  Until now.  

Brian was diagnosed with CML sometime over the summer while going through camp with his new club (insert sad face):

 New Jersey Devils

Oh, and he's cleared to play!  Back on the ice, with his new club nonetheless, #BoyleStrong.

Well.

Well.

I think that's all she wrote, folks.

Thank you for following all these years, thank you for supporting me and encouraging me to "Not stop" but I think, I must.

The MCAT is NOT hard, NOT a beast, NOT undoable.

However, rescheduling it 3x due to circumstances outside my control (Irma, for instance), waking up late (never a good sign), driving like a bat to get on site without food or hydration (Adderall almost requires it or I get loopy in the head) ... well.  That all leads to no bueno in the score department.

I believe I'm capable of 515+ and that's about what I need to be a solid candidate.  However, maybe I'm just deluding myself to think that and honestly, it's time to stop.

School has been a most excellent adventure.  People who told me I was dumb or not a hard worker or Joe Van Kirk, wherever you are, "not driven enough" well, guess what - that fancy 4.0 through all my pre-reqs plus an A+ in physics probably proves I do have my drive... and I can/did compete with my younger peers.

But, I kind of want to relax a little, just work, play with the dogs, redo furniture, sand new wood to a nice glossy finish, and live.

I'll probably leave the blog up for a few weeks but take it down on October 31.  Seems sort of fitting.

Thanks again for everything!

P.S.  About that furniture redo - sample below:

It Is Done

Oh, the people to thank; the ones who will know, the ones who may not, the ones who should.

Chris - you have been one of my favorite people on the planet for probably 52 years.  I love you more than you could possibly ever know and thank you so very much for always being by my side whether it was physically driving up to Duluth when Austin died, or housing me when my only grandmother passed, or kicking my butt a few years ago.  Cuz, so many people tell you you're the greatest you don't need me to add to it but really?  I've always looked up to you and aspired to be "More like Chris!"

Dr. Siliciano - oh, Dr. S; that humiliating semester when my house, and then the... and then the issue with... and then... and yet, somehow, you never lost your faith in me, or maybe you did, but being you, never let me know.  I long for the days of Moos and 3021; of LB and MM, and your funny sports car stories and slugs; the stories of shuttles and slugs; and funnier demo's that no youngen' will take on. How I got to be so incredibly lucky to have you for 2 classes, I will never know. Know that every time I probably exasperated you with my questions and concerns and my internal looking-glass-self speak, you quelled the fears, supported my hopes, and whether you knew it or not, you stopped the tears from falling on my way home.

You may never know how much it meant to me to sit in your office and ask if it would be okay to take your 3021 class, knowing full well how disappointed you had to be in me for dropping the 1xxx on the last day, with an A- ... and then I got that "B"... there are few people who's perspective I trust more than yours, who's opinion I value more than yours... very few.  When I look back on my life, you are up there with my 4th grade teacher who for the first time told my parents I was not bad, but bored.  Just like him, you've encouraged me, laughed with me, gave me the hard truth when needed, and provided an example of what leadership really looks like.

Dr. Schlotter - oh, the other Dr. S; yah, you told me to call you Nick but, you will always be my mentor, my leader, my professor, my favorite gen chem guy.  During the horrors of early 2010, and then in April when Storm... you kept nudging me forward, kept telling me not to quit, kept telling me you had faith in me even when life and all that it was tossing at me said to give up.  The day we spent with lattice structures until I could do them blindfolded, the days we spent talking about how I could learn to study more efficiently because frankly, I never knew before.  Those days when the house was crawling with centipedes and maybe you don't remember, but you gave me some spray that would kill them ... and thankfully, not me.  You helped me survive that dark spring giving me enough lift to continue on (though, really?  an 89% is a B"!"!"!"!"! :) ).

Dr. El-Rady - did you think I'd forget you??  Remember, I heard about you before ever stepping foot in FL let alone USF!  Dr. S above "forced" us to watch your transcription videos (which might have been handy today, btw :D ).  My first class with you was intimidating as I worried if you're that smart and putting together videos, are you approachable?  Some PhD's get big heads and think we little people are too insignificant to spend time with unless during office hours.  Like the two above you, you ALWAYS have time for students, not just me.  I hope you know, or at least you do now, I hope the next non-trad premed you get feels as blessed as I do to have had your classes.  Those talks walking back to the building about research, and current events, or just kids.  Your willingness to kind of kick me in the seat when it was very apparent, I was slacking a little, propelled me forward: to grind a little more, to want to improve a little more, to help others a little more.  Your stories of your home and the things you've seen in your life, are scorched in my mind.  Your faith in me, despite my "length of life traveled" has meant the world.  That one day you said, "You are a far better student than most of your peers simply because you will not quit" helped me work just that much more. And that day, you emailed me offering to write an LOR, I'm not sure you knew until now, I wept.  Floored.  I'm sure you write a zillion of them but I didn't think me worthy, didn't think me impressive.

Dalai - whether you knew it or not, you inspired me with your stories of afar, your kids' own success, your funny anecdotes about life in the hospitals/clinics, sharing of PACS nightmares, and of course, the beloved Doc Vader.  When I've needed a funny to cheer me up, in the midst of all the chaos, you gave me a light upon which to set my gaze and follow.  Please let Mike know, I'm thanking him too :)

Bill - in keeping your anonymity private will only say without you, I'm not sure I'd be in a place to type this out.  When last year was so dark, so utterly bad, you stepped up and in sharing time with Gman and helping us survive, you gave me the lift I needed to fly again.

Thank you.  Thank you so very much, the six of you, for all you've done whether you knew it or not.  Thank you for not laughing at me, or telling me to quit.  Thank you for not eye-shaming me into feeling guilty that I'm wasting time or haven't gotten my ducks in a row yet (I'm looking at you, Dr. Siliciano!).  Thank you for listening, encouraging me because finally, I can truly, unequivocably say:

The MCAT is done.  God willing, the next formal exam I take will be Step 1.

Tonight, I had to remind myself: