Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Well.

Well.

I think that's all she wrote, folks.

Thank you for following all these years, thank you for supporting me and encouraging me to "Not stop" but I think, I must.

The MCAT is NOT hard, NOT a beast, NOT undoable.

However, rescheduling it 3x due to circumstances outside my control (Irma, for instance), waking up late (never a good sign), driving like a bat to get on site without food or hydration (Adderall almost requires it or I get loopy in the head) ... well.  That all leads to no bueno in the score department.

I believe I'm capable of 515+ and that's about what I need to be a solid candidate.  However, maybe I'm just deluding myself to think that and honestly, it's time to stop.

School has been a most excellent adventure.  People who told me I was dumb or not a hard worker or Joe Van Kirk, wherever you are, "not driven enough" well, guess what - that fancy 4.0 through all my pre-reqs plus an A+ in physics probably proves I do have my drive... and I can/did compete with my younger peers.

But, I kind of want to relax a little, just work, play with the dogs, redo furniture, sand new wood to a nice glossy finish, and live.

I'll probably leave the blog up for a few weeks but take it down on October 31.  Seems sort of fitting.

Thanks again for everything!

P.S.  About that furniture redo - sample below:






6 comments:

Solitary Diner said...

I hope that this is a good decision for you. Medicine is an incredibly hard road, one that I'm not always glad I took, and I think it's good to recognize when you no longer want to go down that road.

Best of luck with whatever the future holds! And if you change your mind and keep the blog up, I'd be happy to keep reading about the next stage in your life.

A Doc 2 Be said...

Thank you, SD! It's not that medicine is not what I want to do, I love being in school, at the hospitals, with patients. My ugrad prereqs are near 4.0 at the U of MN Twin Cities and I busted my butt for those grades; even nailed an A+ in physics at another land granting school.

I think I'm burned out and don't know if I can get a better MCAT score than I did. That's the issue.

Doubt. :(

And that age thing is niggling at me. Do I spend the money to retake the MCAT? Just to fail again? Fear.

We'll see... my son laughed at me and said, "Don't throw out anything, you will be back."

c0ab3c68-9f68-11e5-85a5-9f38e34ffb19 said...

Hi - I've been following your blog now for many years, which I found randomly when I was a pre-med. I have no idea what score you actually got but I want to say that you don't need a 515 to get into medical school. You can get an average score and get in, maybe not into Harvard, but somewhere. State schools and DO schools often allow for lower scores and you have an excellent GPA that will take you a long way. And being a non-trad is often an advantage (I was an non-trad with a pretty average MCAT and not so great GPA). I just don't want you to sell yourself short - consider throwing your hat in the ring next year and applying broadly and you might be surprised.

That being said, it's a long and tiring road and if you need a rest, I understand that completely. I've always enjoyed reading so thanks for writing :)

OMDG said...

Screw it. Life is too short to waste time on medicine if you're not sure about it. Just being is school again and proving to yourself you can is sometimes enough. Good luck with your future endeavors!

it'sabeautifullife said...

Wish you the best, wherever life goes!

A Doc 2 Be said...

Thank you, everyone!!

We'll see what happens but I need a break from MCAT. After starting/stopping/voiding/taking-Irma-resched-not-my-choice, I need to get off the merry-go-round for a bit.

The day before my originally scheduled MCAT, on the FL 2 I got a 512. Tears streamed from my face and I was ready to conquer it... even on the way in, I was prepared, ready, confident, stoked... then, the transformer was out at the site and we were rescheduled for the Sat that Irma was hitting... then rescheduled for the 19th.

Maybe I'll leave the blog up so others can see that MCAT score = life ending... and write about whatever it is I do next.

For now, I need a break. I've thrown away all my sheets of post it notes, and formulas and MCAT books. If I decide to retake in January, I'm starting fresh. Fresh materials, fresh eyes, fresh motivation.

While I miss clinics, and patients, and disease states, and investigating... I'm burned out... Loss of job due to Irma, Irma and it's aftermath has been too much. I was still plugging holes in ceiling days before the MCAT and 2 days before, found out I was jobless.

Stability is priority #1 for me. Some semblance of it anyway.

Thank you again!