Stress

Real life, outside of the blog, and my life has a tad bit 'o stress... the house, my son, school, finances, working, volunteering, "fitting it all together", and then some. I've wondered how much easier school would be without the major distractions I've had and then realize, I can't change, fix, or control the outside factors - as I've continually tried with limited success - just how I deal with it.

So, I run. I hate running. Let me be crystal clear: hate it. However, once I put the iTunes and iShuffle in my ears, tie on Asics Air Nimbus running shoes and zipper the cute pink top the world seems to slip away. In no time, I've gone 2 or 3 miles, listened to my favorite songs, probably even hummed along with them (sorry to those who've since learned I'm tone deaf), and I'm energized. And relaxed.

I also swim. Started with 10 laps then thought myself a wimp and moved to 14 and finally up to 1/2 mile at a time. Even better when I run first for 30 minutes, then swim for another 20. All of that followed by a hot shower and things are pretty easy to live with.

The stress of life + the stress of trying to do the insane (med school at 45) = running & swimming and ultimately, less stress and no headaches.

A Little Midsummer's Night Reading

Some books I'm reading in prep for my upcoming physics class, more for broader understanding and application, than for math comprehension. All of the books apply physics or explain physics principles without use of math equations. I like the books - easy to read, helpful, and make physics, much less scary!

"50 Physics Ideas You Really Need To Know" - Joanne Baker

"Thinking Physics" - Lewis Carroll Einstein

"The Illustrated Brief History of Time" - Stephen Hawking

"Physics Made Simple" - Christopher G. De Pree, Ph.D.

Affirmation, Hope, Confirmation

Walking into the medical clinic, a little tired and nervous, I met with the HR Director immediately to process through the HIPAA paperwork, get my photo taken, and then onto exam rooms.

I had never met this doctor, he is my father's physician, and had only heard things about him all of which were great! The nurses made sure I knew where things were, joked about seeing a youtube video showing Michael Jackson alive, and showed me the doctor's personal office. The doc was still in an exam room so I was left by myself.

Sitting quietly in the office, I did look around: books from med school on the shelves, Stedman's as well, true to form from what I'd seen before, plenty of pictures of the children, amazing amounts of magazines, the requisite degrees, and gum. I laughed at the gum. Guess docs suffer from bad breath fear as well!

Then it was time to meet the physician. Without much time to chat, I was led into my first patient visit. Eight hours later, I left the clinic with a smile on my face and a flutter inside that I finally "knew"...

The time flew by so fast the only thing I really remember stalling was that short period where my lunch and I got a "divorce". Apparently, nerves, standing in one place for a few hours, not eating, and cottage cheese don't mix well. Note to self: eat before next shadow day!

Things that stood out to me:

dictation - I had heard how long it could take, but little clue as to what gets put into dictating records, how much information, nor how to decipher what's important and what's not; protocols and strategy were part of the entry, much like I would have done for a business, goals and requirements were stated

rapport - the physician had amazing rapport with his patients; I asked later if a lot of that is to glean information that might not be readily forthcoming if asked directly; the answer was yes; he was also able to calm nervous patients by just listening and relating

pace - rapidly going from one patient to the next with little time, I wondered how he could be "that" knowledgable about each individual finally asking him if he prepped for his next day's patient load by reviewing the list the night before; he said no that one reason FP is so amazing is that over the course of the years, he's gotten to know where people are in their health, etc. He also commented that this could be a double edged sword: knowing a patient too well could cause some to overlook minuscule comments - one I even caught and asked him about - so he said with caution, he listens and asks never assuming anything

joy - pure joy; as I learned last year, physicians love what they do and they truly love being doctors. That joy was present all day - he never once said "this sucks" or "that makes me want to leave" even while pointing out the stacks and reams of paperwork that each file needed

odds/ends - comfortable shoes with good soles and support, blinking white light = patient ready for doctor, no BMWs in parking lot, socks

At the end, fully knowing I was hoping for more than one day, he offered to let me tag along again. I'm ever so thankful I got kicked in the butt last year to chase this dream, ever so thankful for the people - past and present - who've been placed in my life who encourage, support, affirm, lift, and yesterday, confirmed, this is where I need to go.

Rural family medicine... with all it's humility, humanity, compassion, sensibility, and hope... it's where I belong.

At 45 (as of August 17th), I finally figured it out.

Celebrating!

I have shadowing experience set up finally. A small, rural clinic with the most awesome physician letting me shadow as often as I want/need to fulfill that part of my application. I've often wondered what I don't hear or see behind the closed doors of the clinics. The stories already related to me are interesting but I cannot wait to see first hand.

My questions now are: will I still be as enthralled with rural family med as I think? or will I wander back over to the oncology mind set, palliative care aside, oncology is an amazing specialty.

Hard to believe the summer has flown by and school will be starting again. Hard to believe that at this time next year I will be sitting for my MCAT, typing out applications, and answering the supplementals (I hope!)

And really hard to believe it took me 20 years to get to this point again. Let the beaming begin!

Innocence

Sitting at my kitchen counter, talking with my parents about my plans for the fall and spring, what I can do to lessen the impact of my own dreams, I looked up to find:

From Backyard Life