Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Days Like These...

First day back in almost 4 months... was I nervous? Excited? Anxious? Or none of the above? Probably a whole lot of mixed emotions were running rampant through my head without me even really recognizing it.

Biology was a bit odd. That's the word I'll use for today, "odd". Great instructor, can tell he really likes being around students (hence his various and repeated awards for outstanding instructor) but it was odd. One minute talking about protons and neutrons and why electrons are important (at least he didn't call them "proteins" as another instructor did... an enlightenment I'll save for another post) but I'm not sure why organic chair structures are needed so early in a course when organic chemistry is not a requirement. Anyway, I really like the instructor and can tell he really likes teaching. We'll see if I stick in the class as my schedule really is dependent upon chemistry at this time.

So, then onto physics. Running from the parking lot to the class nothing interesting seemed to happen. Class was completely packed so I pulled up a piece of "real estate" on the dirtied carpeting. The instructor for that class more than made up for my time being one with the floor - he's funny, incorporates real life meaning into physics material. This class is going to be awesome!!

Then to physics lab... oh, and the exam they failed to warm anyone about. My earlier posts document my overwhelming test anxiety which is being treated, as long as I know when the exam is. I tried my best to take it; I tried my best to get through the material and despite that it doesn't affect my grade in any way, the thoughts racing through my head were, "Oh no, they're going to boot me out of this class and into remedial math" and from there it went downhill fast.

Never mind that when I took the math placement test, I placed into calculus. Never mind that I more than understand sin, cos, tan, sec, cosec, and cotan. Never mind all that... my anxiety at having a white test booklet with little bubbles...

I didn't finish the exam.

By the time everyone else had left, I was a sweaty mess replete with a headache that would not subside. Too late for the beta blockers I am prescribed for exams, too late for Concerta to kick in to help me concentrate, I was simply exhausted.

In explaining my situation to the lab TA he could not have been more professional. What a great teacher he will be someday. At his young age he understood and didn't judge, rather helping me understand how to study physics, what it takes to be successful in the course, how to best prepare for labs, and again, not judging me.

What relief!

Headed from that lab for my parked car and promptly found out, my purse was missing.

It still is.

Day one score: -2

So, how does a lady like me cope with that? For a brief moment I thought it a sign, I should quit school, stop pursuing my new path, and become a Zamboni driver for the MN Wild (just kidding).

Actually, I count my blessings and hug my son. It is the only way for me to keep moving forward when the days come like this that make me shake my head, suck down a diet coke and some Tylenol, and hit the sack.

Did I mention my car accident today!? :)


putnam2800 said...

wow sounds like a hectic day! good luck! :)

Non Traditional Pred Med Guy said...

guess some times life purposely throws lemons at us to see what we'll do with them.

or, i think its another test to see how we will react and/or persevere getting to where we want to go..

hang in there. life is 99% mental (or at least from what i hear), i believe it. =)

A Doc 2 Be said...

Thank you both! It was a whacked start to a frenetic week to be sure.

I like the word perseverance. Fitting. Concise.

Here's a happy weekend studying!