Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Lost Home, Lost Mother

My home foreclosed. Really, what does that mean? I was financially irresponsible in some circles to be sure, financially stupid in others, and in my own mind, just perhaps, a little too stubborn to have sold this mammoth albatross a few years ago.

In sending out the new home address to my friends, I received several warm thoughts and hopes and prayers back.

I also received one from a friend of mine, who apparently had not had time to write as... her mother passed away last Thursday. I lost a home. She lost her only parent, her mother.

Sort of brings the reality of my situation some very real clarity.

My parents are thankfully healthy, alive, together, happy, and helpful. I am blessed beyond imagination. My parents would move the earth around Jupiter if it meant that I could have an easier time right now.

So, while I pack my 4 bedroom, 3 bath house replete in all its splendor (oh, and the guest house) like a mad woman scurrying to get away before the Wells Fargo swastika wearing dolts change the locks on the house:

I'm blessed to have my parents, my son, my friends, my furkids, my health. I'm blessed to have been given a brain that can see past the current dilemma and onto a new life. I'm blessed to have this outlet to let loose with some of my thoughts.

I'm saddened by my own loss of home, shelter, nest egg but far more saddened by my friend's loss.


Mr. C said...

What a terrible thing to lose a mother. It does, like you say, help to put our problems into perspective.

One of my close friends has 5 children 4 of which are two sets of twins. His wife nearly died giving birth to the first set of twins, and for the first 5 years of life, they were plagued with medical issues. I can only imagine the stress and anguish it must have caused them.

Mercifully, the twins eventually grew healthy. Then, they found out they were pregnant again... with twins. They were terrified, and my friend recalled dropping to his knees and praying that they would have the strength to do it again.

Still worried and unable to fully enjoy the news, they sat in church the following Sunday. The pastor, aware of their situation, asked all of the couples who were unable to conceive to raise their hands. Slowly, hands went up all around them. He said they were immediately ashamed at their (albeit well founded) grief, and realized what a miracle it was to be blessed with children at all.

I'm sure they were not magically transformed into grateful parents at that moment, but it went a long way toward putting their fears and their situation into perspective.

It is unfortunate that your friend lost a mother, but the perspective it brought was obviously not lost on you. Hopefully - eventually - you will look back on it as a moment that brought you back from your own grief/guilt/worry... even if just enough to keep your sanity.

A Doc 2 Be said...

Perspective is not often found gracefully. When my own son died of SIDS at the age of 6 months, I gained a lot of perspective.

People have asked how I can handle all this so well... I think to myself, I've been through the bowels of hell and back; this is but a blip. And so it goes with my home.

I had already been counting my blessings once I had a home to move to. The support of friends, family, blog-sphere readers, and others has been tremendous.

Tonight, I received another message of support. My dogs' pet deposits will be paid for by a non-profit group.

For 10 years, I've had over 250+ rescue, transport, foster dogs come through my property. I cared for them as long as they needed to stay, and then helped get them to their respective rescue groups.

I never asked for reimbursement, although I did take the in-kind donations of time and food and driving off my taxes.

So, tonight I'm being helped. It is humbling. I never ask. I never wanted to HAVE to ask. When I am able, I will help those in need again.

My friend's mother... was just yet another reminder of why I am blessed. I feel terrible for her... not only because she lost her mother but because of many other private matters related to her mom.

As you said in your earlier comment, this will be a blessing in disguise and I believe, Mr. C, it already is.

Tomorrow I ask a bank to borrow the money for fall's tuition, I started filling out research application grants tonight, I'm looking for other part-time/full-time consulting jobs to pay for school, and staying, if I can, on the path to med school.

If the med school's want students who overcome, I think I'd like to sign up to be the poster child!

A Doc 2 Be said...

BTW, thank you for sharing the story. I can't imagine how embarrassed they must have felt sitting there... and how blessed they fell now with healthy kids!!